There are so many things in life that I assumed demanded perfection.
- Daughter
- Sister
- Wife
- Mom
- Home
- Friends
- Employee
- Entrepreneur
And when I don’t live up to my expectations, along comes a feeling of failure. It’s taken me a while to write this because somehow it too was demanding perfection.
I heard this recently, "Before trying to be perfect, check-in with yourself"
Zelda Advocat
What About Me?
It’s nice to want to be that perfect mom, wife etc.. (or whatever you are striving for perfection in your life), but how much good am I actually accomplishing by doing that?
Yes, there are people who are more creative, moms who do more with their kids (or do they really?), more intelligent (maybe) but…..
What about me?
I remember someone I know who, after a few months of marriage, got divorced. I used to envy how calm her house was (on the outside), how things were always so clean, dinner was always beautifully prepared… you get the picture.
Meanwhile, our house wasn’t like that and it was also the two of us. Some nights dinner was made and sometimes our house was a mess and sometimes Asaf (my husband) has a crazy wife.
So for our time, I strived to be that perfect housewife (and if that’s your thing and you enjoy it – then go for it). But it didn’t work. It made me irritable and frustrated and angry. And that didn’t help. What was wrong with me – why couldn’t I manage that perfection.
When Leah (our daughter) was born – I swore I would be the perfect mom. I would be there for her in ways I wished mine was.
And then you don’t get any sleep at night, and they have wants and demands that you are too tired and exhausted to meet (I’m talking about that lovely toddler stage). Throw in work and housework and perfection just didn’t fit in the picture
I think perfection (for me) is trying to be something I'm not.
When I push for perfection – the opposite usually happens and I will find myself in a place I don’t want to be.
So I sat down and defined ultimately what I want out of life.
Connection and community
Those are the two most important things for me
Happiness is a place I get to when I feel most connected
Connected with:
- myself
- Asaf
- Leah
- family
- Friends
- and through work
And through all of that, I create community for myself and my family. I’ve learned to accept myself – because it doesn’t matter if no one else does.
I have to be true to me… and if you walked into my house right now – there is cold wash hanging over the railing (my very fancy built-in dryer rack lol), there’s a bunch of projects going on around the house, laundry is in the process of making its way into the laundry room and clean clothes are making its way back into the bedrooms, my kitchen is a semi disaster, and I’m standing and working in the kitchen at the counter while doing 10 other things. And that’s my life – living it perfectly for me.
In Health
Zelda
